Mindset

Start here if you struggle to put yourself first

Do you struggle to put your needs first? 

I can finally manage it without a pile of guilt, but I know how hard it can get so wanted to put it out there. x

Before, I had zero skills in asserting myself & communicating my needs clearly. 

It’s tough when you want to be kind to others. The lines can get blurred. I needed to learn some new skills and beliefs. 

FIRST STEP: I needed S P A C E.

Space helped me pay attention to my thoughts & make sense of that nagging thing that was missing before:- the real me!

Chronic people-pleasing meant I never gave myself space to:

  1. Hear my own needs, understand my values, hear what mattered to me.

  2. Learn & practice new skills in boundary-setting, assertiveness, courage, communication.  

  3. Get clear on what my next right step was.

With space and learning, I woke up to the fact that: 

  • I got to change my life if I wasn’t happy. 

  • Happiness came from prioritising my wellbeing & living in line with my values. 

  • Happiness didn’t come from blindly doing what everyone else wanted.


As a nation, we have more freedom than ever, yet at the same time, we seem more trapped. 

  • Trapped in our heads.

  • Trapped in our habits.

  • Trapped in our need for external validation.

  • Trapped in our lack of learning emotional skills.

It’s harder than ever in modern life with media & addictive devices at every turn, adding to confusion & overwhelm. For me, it shifted with more looking inside & less looking outside. And, making space in life for that to happen. 

I stopped measuring my worth by saying yes to others, once I got familiar with what I valued in life. 

Once I woke up to the damaging effects of people-pleasing on my self-worth, I learned key skills to build courage, clarity, express my needs, and practiced regularly exactly how to put myself first day-to-day.

I’m sooo relieved that I now live in line with what’s right for me, because once I lived in full honesty with myself, any other way became intolerable. 💚When I feel good, it elevates everyone around me. I find this a much more sustainable way of living where everyone benefits (myself included). x

HOW CAN YOU MAKE SPACE for yourself?

Can you spare a few minutes to consider this today? And if you feel like sharing your insights on this topic, I’d love to hear them, and I'll see you in the comments below. 🙏🏻

Here’s to living as the best version of you. x

Quick heads up: This topic is close to my heart, so I’m going to share more on it. I’m building some resources and programmes to help get beyond this, for those interested. If you’d like to be added to the waitlist to potentially have first access to programmes as a Beta tester, let me know here. And you can join my weekly newsletter list to hear when new stuff is available.