Start here if you struggle to put yourself first

Do you struggle to put your needs first? 

I can finally manage it without a pile of guilt, but I know how hard it can get so wanted to put it out there. x

Before, I had zero skills in asserting myself & communicating my needs clearly. 

It’s tough when you want to be kind to others. The lines can get blurred. I needed to learn some new skills and beliefs. 

FIRST STEP: I needed S P A C E.

Space helped me pay attention to my thoughts & make sense of that nagging thing that was missing before:- the real me!

Chronic people-pleasing meant I never gave myself space to:

  1. Hear my own needs, understand my values, hear what mattered to me.

  2. Learn & practice new skills in boundary-setting, assertiveness, courage, communication.  

  3. Get clear on what my next right step was.

With space and learning, I woke up to the fact that: 

  • I got to change my life if I wasn’t happy. 

  • Happiness came from prioritising my wellbeing & living in line with my values. 

  • Happiness didn’t come from blindly doing what everyone else wanted.

As a nation, we have more freedom than ever, yet at the same time, we seem more trapped. 

  • Trapped in our heads.

  • Trapped in our habits.

  • Trapped in our need for external validation.

  • Trapped in our lack of learning emotional skills.

It’s harder than ever in modern life with media & addictive devices at every turn, adding to confusion & overwhelm. For me, it shifted with more looking inside & less looking outside. And, making space in life for that to happen. 

I stopped measuring my worth by saying yes to others, once I got familiar with what I valued in life. 

Once I woke up to the damaging effects of people-pleasing on my self-worth, I learned key skills to build courage, clarity, express my needs, and practiced regularly exactly how to put myself first day-to-day.

I’m so relieved that I now live in line with what’s right for me, because once I lived in full honesty with myself, any other way became intolerable. 💚When I feel good, it elevates everyone around me. I find this a much more sustainable way of living where everyone benefits (myself included). x

HOW CAN YOU MAKE SPACE for yourself?

Can you spare a few minutes to consider this today? And if you feel like sharing your insights on this topic, I’d love to hear them, and I'll see you in the comments below. 🙏🏻

Here’s to living as the best version of you. x